“Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”
-- Wayne Dyer
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
-- Mother Teresa of Calcutta
When I was a child, I felt judged severely for my mistakes, inabilities, character flaws, and my personage. I took the judgments and harsh pronouncements of my parents, teachers, peers, bullies, and the priests into my psyche. I turned the sword upon myself first, and I tried hard to do things perfectly to redeem myself. I judged myself inadequate, unworthy, and incapable, and I carried these self-defeating attitudes throughout my life until I started to awaken at age 60.
My self-judgment poisoned my relationships because, just as I denigrated myself for my imperfections, so I dismissed people for their faults or meager status in life. On the other side of the coin, I elevated to a high place in my mind people whom I judged as more capable, stronger, richer, better looking, or more “together”. And I played my victim role (perfectly, I might add).
Thus, I judged others as either above me or below me. At times, my ego was overpowering; at other times, I wallowed in my self-pity and despair. I judged God and felt judged by that power.
When I started my journey of awareness, I questioned the concept of judgment, first, in terms of the god of my upbringing. That anthropomorphic god was austere and severe, a judge who, if he was displeased with me, would cast me into a lake of fire for eternity when I died. If I did not believe properly, behave correctly, and think righteously, if I was not perfect in thought, word and deed, then my soul would suffer eternal torment in hell.
I threw out that god, or should I say, that trait of god, when I awakened. I came to my current understanding of a power that epitomized unconditional love for me, all creatures, and, indeed, all creation. Judgment is not in the vocabulary of this god, but I believe it is, instead, an invention of our humanity. In order to exist at this level, we developed the concepts of good and evil, right and wrong, honor and dishonor, and judgment in an attempt to understand and control our environment and life here.
I believe part of our soul’s journey involves aligning our values with the character and values of God. Thus, I gradually ended my judgmental attitudes. I realized the importance of connection among all people, just as God and the universe are one. I came to recognize the equality of people on a spiritual level. I stopped envying and decrying. Those feelings had no use in my new awareness.
If you entertain judgment and espouse it as a value, it can lead to grandiosity or self-pity, ego-driven action or victimhood, resentment or entitlement. It can trap you into envy on the one hand or despair on the other. You become torn daily and isolated from true intimacy. Your soul cries out for so much more in your life, yet you wile away your time making pronouncements about people, events, situations, and God. You miss the point of life on earth in this fleshly presence.
A friend once posed a question to me that caused me to ponder. “What if there is no good, no bad? What if we simply come to an acceptance of what is and live our lives in love all the time?” (How I love the “what if” questions from my guides!) The awakening man trades judgment for discernment, and he uses that value carefully. He strives to be loving toward all, for that is the path to a better life, healing for his soul, and communion with God.